Highly Sensitive People

 

Are you affected too?

 

Highly Sensitive Person- Demystified

 

Highly Sensitive People! They’re everywhere! Have you been told you’re “too emotional” or “too needy?” Do you think more deeply about things and worry more than the average person? Do you prefer quiet environments? You’re not alone!

 

I think it’s also very important to note something here. If you’ve never heard this term “Highly Sensitive People” but you recognize the symptoms, you should make adjustments. These new adjustments would give you a better quality of life among other things. I’m also a “Highly Sensitive Person” as well. One of the reasons I write so many Blogs is to share my journey with the public. It is possible if you knew more about my background it might help you potentially.

 

Elaine Aron Psychologist/Author

 

According to Elaine N. Aron, a psychologist and author, in her 1996 book, “The Highly Sensitive Person” Dr Aron discusses individuals with high measures of sensory processing sensitivity. Elaine N. Aron first developed and researched this term in early 1990’s. The results from her work was Highly Sensitive People were found to be quite common. With as many as one in five people found to possess traits consistent with those of Highly Sensitive People.

 

Population make up

 

Many times Highly Sensitive People suffer from Anxiety and Depression which can turn into Severe Clinical Depression if they don’t get professional help. They often try to please others and feel guilty when they are not able to meet their needs. Research also indicates that Highly Sensitive People account for 15% to 20% of the population, which makes it quite a large percentage of humanity. Yet we’ve often been led to believe that sensitivity is weakness.  

 

 

Highly Sensitive People

 

 

Highly Sensitive People- Careers

 

Highly Sensitive People also often choose careers that are definitely NOT typical. They are very sensitive to the environment and they prefer to work alone to avoid harsh criticism. That would include having to answer to a demanding boss! These careers might include musicians, interpreters (I was an interpreter), as well as people being “on call”, such as medical professionals. They all have one thing in common, they often feel misunderstood, alone, under appreciated and overworked. 

 

 

Highly Sensitive People

 

 

Highly Sensitive People- Differences

 

1. Easily overwhelmed

 

Highly Sensitive People get easily overwhelmed by their environment. Now this represents other people or loved ones, as well as bright lights, noise, strong smells, loud music or sirens. Often they are light sleepers. Typically, they have struggled with insomnia due to worrying about what had happened during the day for example. They also tend to be analyzing everything.

 

2. Feel guilty all the time

 

Highly Sensitive People who work in non-traditional jobs many times cannot see family or friends often and they feel guilty about it. They feel more than most people and therefore it’s not easy for them just to let it go. They feel bad when they miss a family dinner, birthday party or a social event. 

 

Planning schedules

 

Many times they are not able to make plans more than a week in advance and many even work on weekends. Now consider people who work a graveyard shift or interpreters. They typically might say there is no such thing as a weekend for them. When everyone celebrates, they need to work. They are also very conscientious, hard working, meticulous and detail-oriented.  

 

 

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3. Need privacy

 

They are often introverted and need time to think and reflect. Others may misunderstand their behavior as being “snooty” or “antisocial.” Many Highly Sensitive People have learned from young age that they need to keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves as they have been told that they were “weird” or “cry babies.” As children they were often seen as shy. They also prefer to exercise solo. Highly Sensitive People tend to avoid team sports as they feel that everyone is watching their every move.

 

4. Need to feel unappreciated

 

Musicians are on the top of the list here. Music and art is generally considered an “extra curriculum.”  Many times they are not taken seriously as they don’t have a “real job.” Few people know how much work and dedication it takes to become a well known musician. Not everyone can be the next member of The Beatles! Think about bass players. The average music lover pays very little attention to bass and what it does for the music that they are listening to. Mostly, the lead singer and the guitarist are given the kudos. So they learn to stay in the background not getting the praise that they deserve.

 

 

5. Highly Sensitive People- More Emotional

 

Generally speaking, Highly Sensitive People have more empathy when their friends or even strangers are going through challenges. They feel everything on a deeper level and they are usually very intuitive. They make good social workers, teachers and counselors. However, they need to learn how to take better care of themselves as they are prone to professional burn out. This was one of the first things that I had experienced as a new counselor trying to do more than I could handle. This led to frequent colds and illnesses because the immune system gets compromised.

 

6. Too sensitive or take things too personal

 

This is especially true of the Western culture that is focused on self-actualization and individualization (remember Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”). In the US we believe the pharmaceutical industry can solve everything even a person’s temperament. If you study Eastern cultures, for example in Thailand and India, highly sensitive men are never teased, unlike in our North American culture. However in North American culture boys are taught from a young age that to show emotions is not “manly.”

 

7. Anxiety and Depression Prone

 

Highly Sensitive People are more prone to anxiety and depression (if they’ve had a lot of negative past experiences). In my professional practice I’ve worked with hundreds of Highly Sensitive People. Many of them suffered some kind of trauma or abuse which may have scarred them for life.

 

Seek a trained professional

 

According to Dr Aron having a supportive environment can go a long way to protecting against this trauma & abuse. The other key too is working with a compassionate and trained professional. Parents of highly sensitive children especially need to realize that they have special needs that need to be considered such as explaining things in a non-judgmental way as opposed to using punishment.

 

 

 

Anxiety Therapist

 

 

8. Avoid violent movies and TV shows

 

Watching violence on TV or in the news can really upset them. Many Highly Sensitive People choose not to watch the news or violent movies as they feel everything deeply. It may disrupt their sleep as it can lead to violent nightmares.

 

9. Drawn to Narcissists

 

Since Highly Sensitive People have high levels of empathy, they often find themselves in relationships with narcissists, who either take advantage of  them or prey on what they perceive to be a weaker group.  Narcissists typically just care about themselves, their status and their image and they lack empathy. Just think about The Picture of Dorian Gray. Remember he fell in love with his own reflection.

 

10. Longer decision making process

 

They are more aware of details and nuances of the situation and weigh pros and cons and this is especially true if there is no right or wrong answer, such as in choosing a color to paint the room. This is because they are considering every possible outcome and they also don’t want to upset anybody. They tend to over analyze everything. 

 

Stress Management Coach

Highly Sensitive People- Overview

 

Overall, Highly Sensitive People are still a minority even though with the influx of “new age” and renewed interest in spirituality,they are finding themselves in environments where they feel safe, such as in Reiki circles, meditation groups, or drumming circles where they feel that they can express themselves more freely.

 

Highly Sensitive People- Tips

 

1. Be careful when consuming stimulants.

Consuming too much caffeine can affect your digestion and make you jittery. Instead, try a cup of green tea.

2. You are not alone.

Many famous artists, musicians, teachers and philosophers were Highly Sensitive People. Use your intuition and ability to be creative to your advantage.

3. It’s okay to be an introvert.

In some cultures, like Asian cultures, being introvert is an advantage. Being introvert helps you to deeply understand not just yourself, but also others.

4. Empathy is an amazing quality

While having empathy can be painful at times, as you feel other people’s pain, it gives you insight and ability to be close to people. Professions such as social work, art, or teaching would be a great fit for you and it would give you an advantage.

5. Be selective when it comes to media

 

“Mateja Petje Verbal Abuse” Blog

 

In the past I wrote a Blog about abuse I believe you should read. It discusses the topic of Verbal Abuse among other things. The title is “Mateja Petje Verbal Abuse” Blog. I’ve provided a link below so you can read that particular blog.

 

“Mateja Petje Verbal Abuse” Blog

 

No need to overwhelm yourself with daily negative news. Instead, read inspiring books and make time for your friendships,and spend some time in nature which can be very soothing.  

 

 

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If you can’t come to our office right now after all Mateja Petje offers online and distance therapy! Don’t wait to get better on your own. We all need help sometimes. So why delay your happiness because in the final analysis your mental and physical health is priceless! However no one can motivate you to take the initiative to heal and make the first phone call but you. So please make the phone call all things considered you’re possibly in a dark place and need a fresh start!

 

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Valentine’s Day Mateja Petje

 

Setting healthy boundaries

 

Love Yourself and Say No

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!LOVE is in the air. Are you fortunate enough to feel it? Unfortunately, many people continue to struggle in their relationships. This can be whether they are intimate, friendships or in simply maintaining a healthy relationship with your family members. For many people this is a very difficult time of year especially during Covid 19.

 

Valentine’s Day Mateja Petje- Settling

 

Some might also settle for less than they deserve because they are scared to be alone or live a toxic and dysfunctional relationship. Many times staying in a particular comfort zone, even if you suffer, seems easier. So maybe it’s time to learn how to say no and love yourself by first setting healthy boundaries

 

 

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Honor yourself 1st on Valentine’s Day!

 

Before I worked on myself (for over 25 years now and the journey continues) I had difficulty saying NO to others because I was afraid that people would not like me anymore. Yes, I was a “people pleaser” until I got seriously ill from trying to keep the peace and please everyone. I worked with therapists and coaches to let go, forgive, and create healthier boundaries with others. Sometimes we need to detach and let go of people who, in spite of our efforts to improve the relationship, continuously do not honor our requests. 

 

You might say it’s “easier said than done” however don’t despair. Follow some of the tips I have included below and start having more peaceful and harmonious relationships with others.  Everyday can be your “Valentines Day” Mateja Petje!

 

Being Assertive vs Being Aggressive

 

In her book, “Assertiveness for Earth Angels” Doreen Virtue (p. XXV) states “assertiveness means that you’re aware of your feelings and opinions. That you state them to yourself and others in a way that respects other people’s rights. An assertive person is kind, peaceful and gentle yet never apologizes for his or her feelings, because feelings are to be honored and respected.”

 

Here is a link to Doreeen Virtue’s book on Amazon

 

“Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of Too Nice”

 

 

Many people confuse being assertive with being aggressive. Aggression is different from occasionally losing your temper. For instance this is where you basically demand the other person to obey your rules. You don’t care about the other people’s needs or feelings.

 

For example, lets say you are in the habit to saying “YES” to every friend or social obligation. Try prioritizing here and only attend events that make you happy or nurture you. Yes do help your friends in their time of need, however be honest with them. You don’t even need to take time to explain. Just say that you need some time for you. How powerful is that!  

 

 

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Accept yourself

 

Accept all you are, including your lesser strengths and imperfections. Many of my clients also suffer from being a perfectionist. This often stems from feeling unloved and believing that you need to be perfect to be loved. A daily exercise could be to look in the mirror and say to yourself “I love you. You are special and unique.” It can be challenging in the beginning, however it gets easier. See more on this in Louise Hay’s book “The Power is Within You.” We all have unique gifts and talents and you are no exception!

 

Here is a link to Louise Hay’s book on Amazon

 

The Power Is Within You by Louise L. Hay

 

 

Daily Self-Care & Nurturing


Do self-care and nurturing activities DAILY. It is very important that you create healthy daily habits. Not everyone wants to meditate, however if you can even set aside few minutes a day and just breathe or repeat an affirmationsuch as “All is Well in My World”. I also love this one from one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh “Breathing in, calming. Breathing out smiling. Present moment – wonderful moment.”

 

In addition to that, take time for regular meals and exercise and movement. Going for a walk around the block will not only help you to stay fit, but also helps you to feel more at peace and experience more joy.  ​

 

Valentine’s Day Mateja Petje- Read “Thriving Life Blog”

 

I think it would benefit you at this point to also read another Blog I wrote. The title is “Mateja Petje Thriving Life”. To make it easier for you to access this Blog I have included a quick link to navigate there.
Click here for Blog “Thriving Life”

 

 

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Valentine’s Day Mateja Petje

 

So this year, make a commitment to yourself that you will honor yourself first. Happy Valentines Day 2019 Thank you for reading! Mateja Petje!

 

Valentine’s Day Mateja Petje- Opt in

 

Right now around Valentine’s Day this might be a perfect time to research this information. This might be a great time to join. If you click the link below you can go to my Opt In page on my website. You can add your name and receive 3 complimentary videos demonstrating top techniques. Knowledge is power.

 

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Don’t wait to get help when you feel stuck, stressed-out or depressed.

 

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Mateja Petje Holistic Coaching International

 

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Valentine's Day Mateja Petje Energy Healer Near Me Holistic Mental Health Anxiety Coach Therapy Psychotherapist near me Help with Stress

Mateja Petje offers Telemedicine


We accept most Major Insurance Carriers, call for details (BCBS, Cigna, Aetna, and out-of-network)

If you can’t come to our office right now after all Mateja Petje offers online and distance therapy! Don’t wait to get better on your own. We all need help sometimes. So why delay your happiness because in the final analysis your mental and physical health is priceless! However no one can motivate you to take the initiative to heal and make the first phone call but you. So please make the phone call all things considered you’re possibly in a dark place and need a fresh start!

 

Valentine's Day Mateja Petje Energy Healer Near Me Holistic Mental Health Anxiety Coach Therapy Psychotherapist near me Help with Stress

 

 

 

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